Author Topic: Space Jokes (Read 13224 times)

aurora899 · « **on:** 07/07/2021 09:40 am »

I couldn't see a separate thread for jokes but thought people might find this amusing (particularly if you've abandoned Microsoft in favour of other Open Source operating systems!)...

laszlo · « **Reply #1 on:** 07/07/2021 02:23 pm »

There isn't a joke thread because in space no one can hear you laugh.

laszlo · « **Reply #2 on:** 07/07/2021 02:56 pm »

My turn:

catdlr · « **Reply #3 on:** 07/08/2021 01:44 am »

Hitler is informed Thrawn defeated by Space Whales (Star Wars Rebels)

libra · « **Reply #4 on:** 07/08/2021 02:46 pm »

The "downfall" parodies were truly insane. My favorite one is "Hitler rants like a chipmunk" (all in the title, go checking).

Let me try this one.

An Ariane rocket runs into a cloth... oh wait, it is not a joke, it happened for real.

https://www.thespacereview.com/article/4085/1

Baduuuum-tssss !!!

Oersted · « **Reply #5 on:** 07/08/2021 04:48 pm »

Some classic Gary Larson goodness....

libra · « **Reply #6 on:** 07/10/2021 09:16 am »

Why 2021 will stay in history books...

Branson has promised manned SS2 tourists flights since 2007, which was already 11 years after Diamandis started the X-prize: 1996

1996 is also the year NGST - not Webb telescope yet - sailed through the National Academies survey.

And by 1996, Nauka / MLM was in the early phases of its development.

1996 was exactly 25 years ago - a quarter of century. This mean that together, MLM, SS2 and JWST launches will resolve no less than 75 years of cumulative delays and overruns - three quarters of a century !

Hog · « **Reply #7 on:** 07/30/2021 06:22 pm »

There's an old US AirForce Space Command, now US Space Force, saying:
"There's no such thing as an atheist in 'The Cupola'.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My humorous take on the fact that many of humans who have been "on-orbit" come back to Earth, spiritually changed people. The men who did the Moon shots may have experienced this effect even more intensely. All that we as humans know and all that we have known, is based off this small, blue hued, mostly liquid covered globe named Earth, our home. The life this globe contains is reliant on its position and relation with the nearby fusion reactor(sun). This Suns life is finite, as is the life on Earth.

attachments
1) Apollo 8 earthrise

libra · « **Reply #8 on:** 08/02/2021 04:27 pm »

Some pretty bad jokes could be made about Nauka brief moment of craziness after it docked to the ISS.

For example:

Nauka, you dummy. Your atempt at stealing the Russian segment of the ISS for their future space station, has failed.
The reason ? Once docked, you had to go into reverse gear to pull the russian segment away. Instead, you silly module went into first gear and thus pushed into the station...

JoeFromRIUSA · « **Reply #9 on:** 08/03/2021 04:04 pm »

Space Joke:
Why are Jim's responses so often short and terse?
Answer: His parents severely limit his Internet usage

Hog · « **Reply #10 on:** 08/03/2021 04:26 pm »

I was talking with a US Space Force buddy the other day, let's just say that their version of a "MAG change" was vastly different than what it meant in own army days. We just dug a hole and relied on gravity.

Darkseraph · « **Reply #11 on:** 08/03/2021 04:44 pm »

Defense Secretary: "President, we can't let the Soviets get to the Moon first! If they do, they'll paint it RED!"

U.S President: "Don't worry, if they do, we'll paint Coca Cola in big white letters over it!"

Vahe231991 · « **Reply #12 on:** 04/30/2023 11:30 pm »

Space Joke of the Month:
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
Answer: To visit Pluto!

Link for the joke:
https://www.pepuptheday.com/stories/riddle-why-did-mickey-mouse-go-to-outer-space-967/

Kyra's kosmos · « **Reply #13 on:** 06/19/2023 11:06 am »

A classic that probably was a regular on the bulletin boards of IBM and MIT in the 1950's and 60's.

The following is an excerpt from a report explaining, in simplified
terms, the operation of a typical inertial guidance system.
"... The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this
because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it
isn't (or where it isn't from where it is, depending on which is greater)
it obtains a difference or deviation. The inertial guidance system uses
deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a
position where it is to position where it isn't. The missile arrives at
the position where it wasn't; consequently, the position where it was is
now the position where it isn't. In the event that the position where it is
now is not the same as the position where it originally wasn't, the system
acquired a variation (variations are caused by external factors, and the
discussion of these factors is not considered to be within the scope of
this report) the variation being the difference between where the missile is
and where the missile wasn't. If the variation is considered to be a
significant factor, it too may be corrected by the inertial guidance
system. However, the missile must now know where it was, also. The
"thought process" of the missile is as follows: Because a variation has
modified some of this information which the missile had obtained, it is
sure where it is. It now subtracts where it should be from where it
wasn't (or vice versa) and by differentiating this from the algebraic
difference between where it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to
obtain the difference between its' deviation and its' variation this
difference being called error. (This company also produces an extremely
accurate command-guidance system, but this type of guidance does not lend
itself to simplification of theory)..."

Bob Shaw · « **Reply #14 on:** 06/19/2023 11:34 am »

The Coca-Cola joke was actually originally a 1950s SF story. I seem to recall it was by Arthur C Clarke! The details seemed quite feasible…

Bob Shaw · « **Reply #15 on:** 06/19/2023 11:41 am »

I regularly tell people that Uranus has dark rings around it. This certainly makes me laugh, but I *have* been told that my jokes fill a much-needed gap… …can’t think why!

HVM · « **Reply #16 on:** 06/19/2023 12:03 pm »

DanClemmensen · « **Reply #17 on:** 06/19/2023 01:25 pm »

Quote from: Bob Shaw on 06/19/2023 11:34 am

The Coca-Cola joke was actually originally a 1950s SF story. I seem to recall it was by Arthur C Clarke! The details seemed quite feasible…

The Coca-Cola "joke" was a plot element in "The Man Who Sold the Moon", by Robert A. Heinlein. It was written in 1949.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Sold_the_Moon
"D. D." Harriman (the Elon Musk character), a billionaire who wanted a first landing on the Moon, was a huckster who raised cash for the project by selling advertising rights base on a (totally infeasible) method of painting a slogan on the face of the moon. He sold multiple parties the exclusive rights to this, each party thinking that they were preventing another party from painting the Moon and each party choosing to not deface the moon themself.

JAFO · « **Reply #18 on:** 06/19/2023 07:31 pm »

Not exactly Space, but engineering. (I can still count to F.)

HVM · « **Reply #19 on:** 06/19/2023 07:37 pm »

For Honor of The Electron's First Missile Mission: