I'm going to try to phrase this carefully because I certainly don't intend to come off the wrong way. Every single launch I'm of course excited but I'm acutely aware of a nervousness that I could be about to witness a catastrophe, obviously a much more profound one if humans are riding.I can trace this anxiety back to Challenger; every non-perfect contrail, shaking camera, or whatever it may be, makes my heart skip. I'm amazed at the impact that event & the widely shown images/video have had. Lasting all this time. I'm also struck by the difference in feeling I have toward air travel. I can easily fall asleep on the tarmac and wake up when everyone is unbuckling at the destination without giving it a thought. Yes, I know the flight rates are magnitudes different but I would have expected the amount of time that has passed to have easily made up for that by now.In a way, I wish I didn't feel so much anxiety during a launch that I'm watching on a screen from the comfort of my home, even if there was a proportional drop in excitement. Do you have the same anxiety as me? Do these thoughts always enter your mind, like they do for me or is it as routine as watching planes take off from the airport to you? Finally, do you think the industry and the current state of HSF would be radically different had the Challenger and/or Columbia tragedies not happened and that this anxiety is very broadly felt and certainly is having a very long lasting impact on space policy? In a way, I can see it turning out to be similar (eg. Shuttle retired with long overdue replacement always a few years out) but also wonder if maybe we might have a far less risk averse culture (for better or worse) w/ regards to the government powers that be and maybe they'd be charging forward with all sorts of interesting programs which could also have resulted in a much more muted push in the private sector. I don't know, but curious what others feel & think.
Quote from: EnigmaSCADA on 07/12/2018 01:43 amI'm going to try to phrase this carefully because I certainly don't intend to come off the wrong way. Every single launch I'm of course excited but I'm acutely aware of a nervousness that I could be about to witness a catastrophe, obviously a much more profound one if humans are riding.I can trace this anxiety back to Challenger; every non-perfect contrail, shaking camera, or whatever it may be, makes my heart skip. I'm amazed at the impact that event & the widely shown images/video have had. Lasting all this time. I'm also struck by the difference in feeling I have toward air travel. I can easily fall asleep on the tarmac and wake up when everyone is unbuckling at the destination without giving it a thought. Yes, I know the flight rates are magnitudes different but I would have expected the amount of time that has passed to have easily made up for that by now.In a way, I wish I didn't feel so much anxiety during a launch that I'm watching on a screen from the comfort of my home, even if there was a proportional drop in excitement. Do you have the same anxiety as me? Do these thoughts always enter your mind, like they do for me or is it as routine as watching planes take off from the airport to you? Finally, do you think the industry and the current state of HSF would be radically different had the Challenger and/or Columbia tragedies not happened and that this anxiety is very broadly felt and certainly is having a very long lasting impact on space policy? In a way, I can see it turning out to be similar (eg. Shuttle retired with long overdue replacement always a few years out) but also wonder if maybe we might have a far less risk averse culture (for better or worse) w/ regards to the government powers that be and maybe they'd be charging forward with all sorts of interesting programs which could also have resulted in a much more muted push in the private sector. I don't know, but curious what others feel & think.I feel the same way. Let me go a little further. I spent 45 years in the industry mostly doing ground test of development propulsion devices. You spend a great deal of effort preparing for a test that will either fail or be successful. There is also usually significant financial impact to the program depending on the result. What I experienced was significant emotional highs after a success and the opposite lows after a failure. Eventually I came to realize that extreme feelings were in fact addictive, all without drugs. I never lost those feelings and enjoy watching launches for the same reason.My advice is to enjoy what you are experiencing and hope it never diminishes. It’s a great ride!